They're going to come to light tonight, but not for the last time

So, yesterday was my 16th birthday. I got a huge surprise party. It was basically amazing.

Here is a list of presents I got and who I got them from.

Sierra: Oh, Gravity! by Switchfoot
Andrew: The same thing as Sierra, so he's going to exchange it and get me something different.
Tonia: Super cute shirt thing and lip gloss (I think the lip gloss was from Tonia at least).
Andy: Family Christian Bookstore gift card. Oh, but he didn't buy it for me. He got for Christmas. He didn't even know how much was on it. Yep. That's my brother. *stare* But I love him anyway even if he's a bad gift giver. *laugh*
Kacy: Bookmark that his mom made. *giggle*
Daniel: Earrings that his sister made. *giggle again* They are such boys.
Makensie: Hot chocolate, apple cider (In little just add water packets, too. Weird, huh?), a game I'm just borrowing, another mug, and little peppermint sticks to put in my hot chocolate.
Emily: Sound of Melodies by Leeland. So far it's a really really really good CD.
Kristin: Singing Back To You by The Swift. Also pretty good.
Lenna: Black nail polish, pinkish reddish maroonish nail polish, fuzzy slipper sock things, awesome swirly glittery pencils that aren't mechanical.
Jessica: Family Christian Bookstore gift card (she actually knew how much was on hers) and a really nice card.
Mom and Dad: mp3 player
Real siblings: knitting stuff that makes a funky scarf and hat.

So yeah. I'm still kind of taking it all in. *grin* It was really cool. Yeah. That's about all I can think of to say.

Love you guys!



You're telling me that there's no hope, I'm telling you you're wrong

Today I went shopping with my mom and sister and got some awesome stuff. Here is a nice list:

Pajama bottoms that are awesome
Rubber boots (yes, I'm serious) that are awesome
Knee socks that are awesome
Guitar strap that is awesome
Mascara that is not really as awesome as most things but makes me look a tad nicer
Jump rope that is awesome
I forget what else.

So I had fun and I think Mom and Sophie did too. I also got a white chocolate mocha. I forgot about that one. Yes. I also haven't opened my jump rope, so I'm going to go do that now.

Mara Tenille


After all this time I never thought we'd be here

Gosh. Why am I so emo lately? I'm thinking too hard or something. I don't even really have anything to be emo over. Psh. Whatever.

So! I got some pretty awesome presents. Including a tea kettle, an electric guitar amp, a butterfly ring, and some scrapbooking stuff. It was pretty exciting and stuff. And on Saturday I'll get more presents! And then next Monday I'll get even more! And I'll (hopefully) get my license!

I'm far too thinkative today, I think. (heh. Ironic.) Or maybe I'm fine, and I just want it to go away. Really, I just want to be understood. It gets annoying not having anyone to talk to about some things, whether it's because the people you normally talk to wouldn't get it or it's just not something you want them to know or you don't think they want to talk about it. It's not like there are these heavy issues I want to work out, but still, it's nice to have somebody to talk to. I don't know. Whatever.

I think I'm a butterfly again.

I've eaten too much food the last couple days and I am going to gain a bazillion pounds. Well. Probably not, but it feels like it. And I could eat more. That's the sad part.

I am listening to the song that's been stuck in my head for the last week. Blind by Lifehouse. I adore this song.

Life goes on.



Behind your eyes there's a light

I forgot to tell Adri that I was wearing the only perfume I own, which is Tommy Hilfiger, and I really like it. Today must be special, because it gets three blog posts. This concludes the posting spree.


Jesus doesn't hate Santa Clause, because he knows Santa only does his job

Merry Christmas! It is almost Christmassy here kind of. It never really ever feels like Christmas it seems. It's always just one other day that's not quite the same and that begs for attention from shoppers and little kids who watch too much TV. It wants to feel like Christmas every year, but it seems like it never really does. It's like birthdays, and how you never feel like you've grown up any differently than any other day when it finally gets to your birthday. But it actually kind of feels like Christmas. Like a special day.

I cleaned out my dresser and got rid of bunches of clothes. It was good but I'm sad because I really like my clothes. I still have lots, and I'll probably be getting more. However, I must say, I have some really awesome clothes as it is.

I am listening to Happy Christmas Volume 4. I love this CD. Everyone should go buy it for themselves and their best friend, since it's Christmastime and all.

Whoa. According to Aspell, Christmastime is one word. I didn't know that until I typed it up there. Weeeiiirrrd.

My CD stopped. *sad*

I wrapped my sister's present. It looks Christmassy and stuff.

Tomorrow morning I go to church and sing and then we go home and clean for a little bit and then family comes over and we open presents and then we go back to church and I might sing again at the end and then come home and eat!

Mara, who is still a dragonfly.

So please come to your window, I've been throwing rocks all night

Is it just me or have my blog titles been rather emo lately? Hmm. Weird.

My birthday is in 7 days! I'm excited. Christmas Eve is tomorrow, which is insane. It will be fun though. I am singing tomorrow night at the service with Andrew, who's going to play piano and not sing, even though he could and it would sound really pretty. I'm playing guitar with the song a little bit too. It should be pretty good.

Today we are going to Aunt Deb's house for Christmas. I'm not going to delve any further into this topic.

Only One by Lifehouse is on right now. I like this song a lot and I always forget it. I really, really like Lifehouse. If I really thought about it, they would probably be on my top five. That said, I think right now I will make a semi-thought-through top five for your enjoyment. I think I've done this before.

House of Heroes
Relient K

Probably not in that order, but you know, whatever. I'd have to really sit and think about bands and all those aspects that make a band good and all.

Anyway. I need to go now.

Mara, who is a dragonfly today, and not a butterfly.


You swear you are better, but better doesn't make it alright

Today I am going to see two movies. In a little bit I will leave to go see The Nativity Story with my family and some other families, and tonight I will see another movie which I can't remember with a group of my friends. It will be pretty awesome.

My drummer is leaving for Chicago this afternoon. So Bassist and Guitarist and I will be practicing all by ourselves until he gets back, like, a week before our next show. Yeah. Crazy. We need more music, too. This is going to be interesting.

It's funny how people care about you one minute and the next they don't really care and then they just go back and forth and it drives you insane. Yeah. I know a few people like that. I can also be like that at times. It's really stupid. Don't be like that.

I smell good because I put perfume on. I feel all royal and elegant or something. It's... weird.


Watch that. It's funny.



I don't even know, please try to understand these feelings that words cannot explain

The show went well. It was really laid back, so it was hard to make it go badly.

Emily isn't answering her phone. This is annoying.

I might be going to an uberlate movie tomorrow night with some friends! It will be awesome.

I blogged on my purevolume today.

Yeeeaaaahhh there's not much to write about.



Everything is wrong but everything will become right

This post needs to be colored.

It's interesting to think about who would be at your funeral if you died today. Who would cry for you and who would speak for you and who would even show up. Hmm. I would express my ponderings, but they aren't really wording themselves in a way that makes any sense. *shrug*

I babysat today. And had my algebra final. Both went pretty well.

So, I had this algebra thing (that counts for 1/4 of my semester test grade) that I did really badly on. So I was whining about this to MathBoy about how I didn't want to pull my grade down (I'm getting an A so far) and he figured out that even if I get a complete zero on the rest of my test, the worst that could happen is I would pull my grade down to a C-. Which is still really bad, but it made me feel a little better to know that I won't flunk out of Algebra. I have no idea why I am blogging about this, but whatever I guess. It's my blog.

Tomorrow is the Christmas party that the band is playing at. I'm excited. It should be really fun. We have one song that has an awesome guitar soloish, and one song that has some hXc action, and one song that Bassist sings in, and one song that I'm playing keyboard on. It will be really cool!

Well. I'm going to go do something productive now.



I thought that I could change you, but you changed me

Have I used that song as a title before? Hmm...

Today was skit practice and hangout time. It was pretty good. Then I babysat. Now I'm home listening to music and IMing people. And trying to finish a song.

I won't mention Eat. Sleep. Repeat. again. Unless I can't help it.

I still haven't gotten my card!

Tomorrow is Sunday.

Yep. That's it.



Get back on the front page, baby

So, that last post was the 50th post. Hooray!

Awww, thanks Adri! I am excited to get it! If it gets here before my actual birthday am I allowed to open it early, or do I have to wait until the 30th?

Smallhansboi, am I still not allowed to buy/ask for Eat. Sleep. Repeat.?

School was fine today. Not terribly out of the ordinary. Talked to Kacy, talked to Sawyer, talked to Shelbi, talked to Emily (she was there for a tennis meeting), talked to some other people probably, same old same old. Except I didn't have to ride the bus today.

Guitar lessons went well. Little Ben is doing quite well, considering he's 7. I'm impressed.

Baby Grace is sick. So you all know.

I babysat Carter and Owen. We watched most of Superman Returns, and will continue watching it on Saturday when I babysit them again.

I like shoes. That makes me sound horrifically girly, but it's true.

I should go sleep now.

Mara, Queen of the Fairy Princesses With Big Machine Guns


I don't believe in miracles, but I believe in you

Today was an interesting day. I was in a really bad mood by the time I got to Lighthouse, but then it got better and then it was good the rest of the night. Tonight I got some tea and a mug and a really pretty butterfly ring from my Secret Santa who turned out to be Makensie. I love her. She's awesome. School was alright. I'm tired, but I want to try and record some stuff really quick. I should probably get on that soon. Tomorrow I have to meet Emily by the pop machines at 9:30 if Mrs. Ronca will let me. I will ask her. I'm sure she'll let me leave, since I will most likely be done by then. I had a sub in every class today. It was weird. Anyway, here ends the paragraph of randomninity. Thank you and goodnight.

Mara the Butterfly


I celebrate the day that you were born to die

There is lots to do for the Christmas party that the band is playing at. We need a sound system, a set list, a salvation message, and probably more stuff. It's kind of stressful.

I'm at school being bored.

What are everyone's favorite worship songs?



So forgive me, because I don't know what to do.

I figured out why I wasn't using the WYSIWYG editor. The lack of it was driving me insane. It's all better now though.

Okay, I'm really leaving this time.


It was your hello that kept me hanging on every word...

...and your goodbye that keeps me listening for your voice around each corner

I like writing on a whim. I can usually make it good eventually, and turn it into a song. Which is a good thing. People generally like songs. Anyway, yeah, whatever.

Youth group tonight. I need to leave in just a few minutes.

Today I talked to Ben, Jeremy, Emily, Andy, Corific, and Kim on the phone. That's a lot of people.

I need a sound system by the 20th and it's starting to get to crunch time. Which is really annoying. ArghI'mnotstressingwhatareyoutalkingabout.

Okay. I need to go now. Worship band, here I come!



Eye double you eye en

I am so clever. Not really though.

My band needs to practice soon. Before the Christmas party on the 20th. Otherwise we will die. Or just kind of do badly.


*runs away*

*runs back*

Well. I kind of ruined it. Oh well.

Now I'm listening to Five Minute Plan. Please don't murder me for saying that I don't like their music very much. Why I am listening to them I do not know. *shrug*

I'm going to go put a movie in, I think. Goodnight, kids.

Mara the rather flighty butterfly


This is all, this is me without you

I'm writing a bridge thing to Characterization right this second.

Impact went well. Was really nervous, which was not normal. On top of that, Andrew was really excited and not nervous at all, which is also not normal. It was kind of funny after I wasn't freaking out anymore.

I'm waiting for Mom to come home. She's at the Ladies Christmas Dinner thing.

Gel deodorant hurts your armpits really badly if you have shaved them less than five minutes before the deodorant is applied. I learned that today.

Okay. I should finish writing this song.

Yours Truly,


You would know you have my heart if you could see what I see

I've had that song stuck in my head for like, 2 days now.

Today is my mom's birthday! You should all email her.

I'm at school. I don't really feel well. Kind of icky. Blah.

There is actual real live music on The Final Pardon's MySpace and PureVolume now. It doesn't sound that bad, either. You should all go listen to it. So far everyone has liked it.

It's cold in here. *shiver*

Daniel is wearing silvery green nail polish. That I loaned him.

I woke up before 7:00 today! Hooray for me!

Tomorrow is the Impact rally. We're playing Rainy Day. I'm excited. *grin*



I am selfish, I am wrong, I am right, I swear I'm right, I swear I knew it all along

It's early in the morning and I am awake. Not because I want to be awake. Because my self won't let me sleep. Ugh. I hate being such an insomniac. I wish I could just sleep like a normal person. You have no idea how nice it would be to sleep alllll the way through the night. I almost always wake up, just enough that I can tell I'm not sleeping anymore and it takes effort to not open my eyes. Because when I open my eyes then it means I'm not getting back to sleep for a long time, unless I am really lucky or really tired. And even if I do get back to sleep right away, it requires much tossing and turning.

So. Tonight, I woke up about twenty minutes ago. I haven't attempted to go back to sleep yet. I made some chocolate milk and then came back downstairs and replied to some emails and posted here. And now I'm cold.

Alright, I'm going back to bed now. Goodnight... morning... whatever.



She's the luckiest girl alive

So, recording went pretty well. We recorded Thunder, The Rainy Day Song, Characterization, and Angel. I will get the recordings on the MySpace and the PureVolume as soon as I have them. Or I can make Ben do it. *shrug* Anyway, they turned out decent sounding, except Angel, which ended up being kind of weird. I mean, it sounds fine, but we didn't end up doing what we were going to do. What was going to happen was Josh would sing the verses and I would sing the chorus, and we would each sing some harmony. But Josh wasn't really getting the harmonies down like he wanted them, and he was having trouble with the rhythm on the verses. So I ended up just singing the whole thing and he harmonized a little bit. It turned out alright.

I'm currently uploading pictures to TFP's PureVolume. I have been meaning to do that for a long time. I also need to write the billboard.

That's about it.

Mara (sings to fireflies)