8.25.2010

You have my attention like you've had all the while...

I had typed out a blog with my new fancy phone, but the app I was using decided it didn't actually work.  So there went that.  This is a new fresh one.

Andrew left on Friday.  I had intended to blog lots before he left, just to keep you all posted on my emotional rollercoaster, but you know what I realized?  When you're riding that emotional rollercoaster, blogging isn't too high on your priority list.  I cried every night before he left.  I haven't cried too much since Friday.  I'm hanging in there.

So, our plan had been that we would see each other every other week.  We would alternate who went where.  It was a good system.  It worked out even better because Lifelight landed exactly two weeks after he left, so he would come back first, we'd go to that with our friends like every year, and that would be the start of visiting.  Now, one thing you should know about me is that I'm a planner.  I'm a little obsessive-compulsive about knowing what is going to happen ahead of time (far, far ahead of time.  Years ahead sometimes.  Yeah, it's that bad.) so I hadn't really questioned this plan or tried to stray from it at all.  I was trying to be flexible and allow for wiggle room, but that was more in the event that we would have to go longer than two weeks before seeing each other so that I wasn't frustrated and upset and all in a huff.  So, yesterday I'm thinking about all the things I have happening this week, and I realize that Sunday is basically empty.  Below is a summary of the conversation that happened in my head:

"Hey!  Why don't I go to Iowa City that day?  I can leave in the morning and be back before it's very late."
"No.  That's not how it's supposed to work.  You'll see him in another week."
"But it makes lots of sense to go!  I mean, he's already seen the apartment and my church and all that, and I haven't seen any of what he's getting to experience.  I should go."
"No.  Just wait until he comes.  He'll be back in a week and a half.  He can come to you.  It's good for you to wait."
"But I don't want to wait."
"So?"
"Why should I wait if I don't want to?"
"Because it's good."
"What is good about it?"
"That's just how it is.  Waiting is good for you."
"You don't even know why, do you?"
"I guess not."
"Well, I want to go."
"Then go."
"Okay, I will."


I literally do think that way.  In case you wondered.  Sometimes I wonder if that's how people end up getting Multiple Personality Disorder.  Anyway, that's how I decided I'd go.  So I'm going.

Tomorrow night Ian is spending the night.  Friday night my cousins are spending the night.  Should be a fun weekend, overall.

That's the end of this blog post.  At least for today.

Mara

8.11.2010

Change is coming, no, it's nothing personal...

9 days.

This is my 400th blog post, not counting the draft that I keep meaning to delete. I'm working on a new playlist to celebrate.

So, remember how I said I basically am in a constant state of being about to cry? Well, I still am, and it's only getting worse. If you're talking to me and I spontaneously burst into tears, don't take it personally. It's most likely not your fault.

I am officially moved in and settled into my new apartment. So far I totally love it. The apartment is really cute with all the paint and my awesome furniture, and living in Des Moines is totally bomb. I moved from Des Moines to a small town near where I live now when I was 11. Even though was 7 or 8 years ago, I kind of feel like I never got used to the whole small town thing. Mom has always said I'm more "urban" than the rest of my family. I'm definitely city girl. Don't get me wrong, riding dirt bikes and 4-wheelers through the backwoods is a fun time, but that's why it's good that my family still lives in good 'ole C-town.*

Tonight's agenda consists of cleaning some stuff and maybe going to Plato's Closet to look for some jeans and most likely going to Zanzibar's or Smokey Row so I can use the Internet. Right now I'm typing this on my iPod at work. I haven't been on the Internet outside of my laptop in like, a week. And before that it had been another week. I'm not even going through withdrawal or anything. I just miss Hulu. But honestly, the Internet takes up too much time when oh have it available all the time. There are lots of things to do that are way cooler.

I was going to be all serious and talk about meaningful things but I'm not going to. I don't feel like it.

Sincerely,
Mara


*I am guessing that you thought the C stands for Cambridge. It doesn't. It actually stands for "Crap." HA.  Just kidding.


EDIT:  I'm at Smokey Row.  This place is pretty hoppin'.  There's a country singer chick here playing some tunes.  She's a character.  That's what I've decided.  I don't know what she's a character in, but the fact that she is one is certain.  Anyway, I'm going to go order something tasty and leave my laptop all vulnerable here at my table.  Hasta la pasta.