You have my attention like you've had all the while...

I had typed out a blog with my new fancy phone, but the app I was using decided it didn't actually work.  So there went that.  This is a new fresh one.

Andrew left on Friday.  I had intended to blog lots before he left, just to keep you all posted on my emotional rollercoaster, but you know what I realized?  When you're riding that emotional rollercoaster, blogging isn't too high on your priority list.  I cried every night before he left.  I haven't cried too much since Friday.  I'm hanging in there.

So, our plan had been that we would see each other every other week.  We would alternate who went where.  It was a good system.  It worked out even better because Lifelight landed exactly two weeks after he left, so he would come back first, we'd go to that with our friends like every year, and that would be the start of visiting.  Now, one thing you should know about me is that I'm a planner.  I'm a little obsessive-compulsive about knowing what is going to happen ahead of time (far, far ahead of time.  Years ahead sometimes.  Yeah, it's that bad.) so I hadn't really questioned this plan or tried to stray from it at all.  I was trying to be flexible and allow for wiggle room, but that was more in the event that we would have to go longer than two weeks before seeing each other so that I wasn't frustrated and upset and all in a huff.  So, yesterday I'm thinking about all the things I have happening this week, and I realize that Sunday is basically empty.  Below is a summary of the conversation that happened in my head:

"Hey!  Why don't I go to Iowa City that day?  I can leave in the morning and be back before it's very late."
"No.  That's not how it's supposed to work.  You'll see him in another week."
"But it makes lots of sense to go!  I mean, he's already seen the apartment and my church and all that, and I haven't seen any of what he's getting to experience.  I should go."
"No.  Just wait until he comes.  He'll be back in a week and a half.  He can come to you.  It's good for you to wait."
"But I don't want to wait."
"Why should I wait if I don't want to?"
"Because it's good."
"What is good about it?"
"That's just how it is.  Waiting is good for you."
"You don't even know why, do you?"
"I guess not."
"Well, I want to go."
"Then go."
"Okay, I will."

I literally do think that way.  In case you wondered.  Sometimes I wonder if that's how people end up getting Multiple Personality Disorder.  Anyway, that's how I decided I'd go.  So I'm going.

Tomorrow night Ian is spending the night.  Friday night my cousins are spending the night.  Should be a fun weekend, overall.

That's the end of this blog post.  At least for today.



  1. Psst... I like you. I'm excited to have you come visit. It will be lots of fun. I hope you are sleeping well tonight. Love you.

  2. 1. I am very excited that you get to go see Andrew on Sunday. Yey!!
    2. I often have conversations in my head of the same nature as yours. In fact, I just had one yesterday debating whether I needed to take Owen in for xrays on his arm (I didn't and he's fine.)
    3. I totally understand the planning thing. I am a total planner (except when it comes to lining up a sitter - which is why you get called so often on late notice - that probably kills you doesn't it?). Just beware of letting the planning turn into a "control" issue. That is a struggle of mine.
    4. Hope you are having fun with your little visitors.