There's a light up ahead...

This is a nice blog post because I forgot to post before we left.

I'm still in California, and I'm still having fun, but I'm feeling sort of bittersweet because we're coming home tomorrow. I'm going to miss everyone here, but I miss my friends at home. Yeah. It's sort of melancholy.

I love you, Iowa friends!

Mara Tenille, the butterfly child


She's a drama queen, if you know what I mean...

Sophie got the Family Force 5 CD while she was at Lifest, and that makes me happy. I like them a lot.

Yesterday I got a new hair straightener and these weird health food chip cracker things that Liz said were amazing. They were actually pretty good.

I am drinking a FuFu Berry Jones. Yum!

I think I'm going to go visit the amazing magical kingdom of Harmbadison today. Actually, I think I'm going to do that right now.



We're all gonna die, but we're all not meant to die young...

The computer is doing much better today. It's all de-virused and stuff.

Kacy and Andy came over. They got bored, I guess, so they ended up over here. We started a magical kingdom. With a password and everything. It's pretty sweet. And I learned to ride the moped! I'd never been on it before. That was fun too.

It's sort of weird that I can type faster than this computer can make the little letters show up. I type really slowly, too. That says bad things about this computer. We should get a new one, but not with Vista on it, because I don't think I like Vista. I haven't really used it much yet, but still. And Mr. Vespestad says it's lame, and he's a computer guy, so it must be dumb.

I have a friction burn that the scab came off of earlier today. It's pretty gross. Hopefully it won't scar all nasty like the other one I got from ice skating. This one's from riding horses without jeans.

I like Blindside.

I'm tempted to make another MySpace, but I'm not going to.

I'm getting bored pretty quick here. *sigh* Maybe I should go get a candy bar or something from Kum & Go. That would be sort of fun. But I don't really need a candy bar. But I want one. Hmm. Tough decision.



Save our souls from all our dreams come true...

Today I have so far slept in until 11, determined that I'm a hippie, eaten a ton of grapes and some pork and ham, and sat mindlessly at the computer doing absolutely nothing. So, I've basically haven't done anything productive yet. Except maybe the hippie bit. That could potentially be productive.

I'm listening to Yellowcard, according to Zach. I like it. It's got a neat sound. Violins. Yep. Violins rock. So do cellos, and I am determined to learn how to play one someday. I should add that to my list of things to do before I die, so I don't forget to do it. To forget something like that would be quite a shame, and we like to avoid shame.

On Wednesday I leave for California. Then we get back on the next Wednesday. I'm too distracted to be excited at the moment, but I'm positive that it will set in eventually. It will be neat to meet people that I've talked to and stuff.




Look me in the eye so I know you know...

Here are some photos. I almost lost them forever, along with all the other photos I have, because our hard drive got screwed up. But Dad fixed it. And now it's saved. Hooray. Anyway, here is a boy and me sitting at Jermaleah's wedding. There were other people there at our table and stuff, so don't get weird looks on your faces. Then, there's a picture of all the girls and Kacy Bass, because he wore the light blue disco suit to the wedding. That was awesome. Bass is a cool guy. He's fun. Then there's a picture of me and Zach, who is at my house right now. We got caught in the rain. He's from Wisconsin. He's pretty cool, too. Yep.
Today I'm going minigolfing! In the cool blacklight place at the mall. Kacy, Andy, Em, Elise, Zach, Tanner, Sophie, and probably more people are going, so it'll be pretty good stuff. I don't know that I've ever minigolfed. I think it'll be fun.
Gotta go make mac'n'cheese.


On the way down I almost fell right through, but I held on to you...

I have Ryan Cabrera stuck in my head. [/teenybopper]

I need to find someone a birthday present. I can't show you my ideas though, just in case he were to see this before then. I don't think that'll happen, but you never know.

Bible study was pretty good. It was interesting. Daniel is an interesting book.

Tomorrow I'm watching the Simpson kids while Matt and Marisa go on a date. Yay!

Gotta go clean floors.


I could sing of your love forever...

Well. I don't really feel much better, but at least I can keep myself busy. That helps some.

Is it possible not to have any habits? Of any kind? I don't think so. I was pondering this whilst I swept the kitchen floor. It's sort of an interesting thought. No habits. Could eliminating all habits become a habit? How would that work? Hmm...

My fingernails have still not fully recovered from my manicure. Emily's acrylics are still on. She's insane. Mine are long gone.

I think I'm going to go read my book now. I'm reading Obsessed by Ted Dekker. I think I like it. It creeps me out though. Nazis and stuff. Scary.



You don't have to be ashamed, because you're a miracle through and through...

Two goodbyes. In one night. Two totally different goodbyes, too. I hate that. I hate it so much. I don't like goodbye. Whether it's only for a month or only until the girls decide to take a road trip or whatever. I don't like it. I want them to not leave. I want to stay here and I want them to stay here and I don't want anyone to go anywhere. I hate goodbye.

Copeland is my antidepressant.




Sing with your head up...

The girl who fell from the Air Glory ride at Lifest died last night. She fell around 4:45, they stopped all the music and stuff, held a prayer service at around 7:30, resumed concerts, and then announced her death around 9:30, based on what I've read. If you look it up on Google News there are already several stories on it. It's very sad. Please pray for her family and for the witnesses and for the festival directors and anyone else you think of. Thanks.

Church was fine, sunday school was fine. I'm going to go ride horses with Sierra this afternoon, and I think my family is going to the pool. Tonight is Overflow. That'll be weird, since Gabe won't be there. It'll be weird with him being gone for six weeks. That's a long time. I like having immediate access to their family.

Ten days until California!

This blog sort of just jumped from sad to random to happy to nothing. I'm weird.

Sing with your head up
With your eyes closed
Not because you love the song
But because you love to sing

I love to sing.



Theme parks are so much more fun when the sun's outside...

Well, it wasn't random to you, boy. *laugh*

I will ask the question eventually, because it's important to me, sort of. The funny thing is, most likely, no one who reads this will ever know what the question is. Maybe that's not really funny to anyone but me.

So, whoever reads this probably knows that Sophie is at Lifest with Tanner. Well, today, Tanner was in line for the bungee jump thing that he and Soph had done yesterday. He was next in line when the girl who was on it had her harness break. The way it was explained to me it sounds like she basically fell 100 feet, and is severely injured, if not dead. Please pray for the girl who was on it. It shook everyone up quite a bit.

On a lighter note, I am eating a banana flavored popsicle.

I suppose that's about it.

Mara who is a butterfly again


Have faith that when you call my name I'll be there...

I like that line. I can't believe I've never used it. I don't think I have at least.

I have been really insecure lately, and I have absolutely no idea why. It doesn't help in the least that I'm aware of it. Then I'm just insecure about my insecurities. And then I whine, and then I'm insecure about whining. Ugh. This is so dumb.

Okay, the whole world needs to pray and pray and pray that I can get contact lenses before the California trip, because they're out of stock and I need some really, really badly, and there is no way that I'm going in my glasses. I really don't like my glasses.

I am having a ridiculously difficult time getting the tangles out of my hair. It's rather amusing, actually. Even though it hurts my head sorta'.

I suck at trampolines and volleyball. I should just sing all the time and then I never have to do things I'm bad at. I will just sing forever and ever and ever. And never stop. Ever. I think that's a good plan.

I have an importantish question to ask someone and I'm sort of scared to do it, but sort of not at the same time, and it's a weird feeling. The question isn't even a really big deal, but I'm thinking too hard about it, and that makes it feel like a bigger deal than it needs to be.

Sometimes there are songs I write that I just really don't like explaining. That was random. Sort of.

Wow, I feel annoying today.

Mara who doesn't feel very butterflyish


If you get lonely give this song another listen...

I'm all back from Wisconsin again. Yep. There's not really a whole lot to say about the trip. It was fine.

Tomorrow I'm going to the pool, I think. That will be nice. I like the pool.

I'm listening to some super secret Lifehouse b-sides. What is a b-side, technically, anyway? I'm going to look it up on everyone's favorite Wikipedia!

"B-side songs are released on the same record as a single
to provide extra "value for money". There are several types of material commonly
released in this way:
-a different version (e.g., instrumental, a
, live, acoustic
version or in another
of the A-side
-another song from the same
, which the record company does not
want to release on its own
-a song not considered good enough for the album
-a song that was
stylistically unsuitable for the album
-a song that
had not yet been
completed at the time of the album's release

I get it now.

All of a sudden my computer is double spacing. Weird. Convenient, though, since I double space everything.

I hope I have friends going to the pool tomorrow. I'm going to make them all go. Muahahahahaha.

It's later at night than it feels like. I don't like that very much. That means I have to go to bed soon. I'm sort of tired though, so that's probably good. And I have to babysit in the morning. Implying that I have to actually wake up at a decent hour. Which I haven't done well at lately.

Why do I chop up what I say into little itty bitty grammatically incorrect sentences when I type? It's annoying looking. I think it's because that's how I would say it though. Like, when I don't use commas where I should, it's because if I were to say it out loud it would all run together without a pause there, so I don't feel the need to put a comma in.

I feel sort of annoying and ugly and dumb these days, to be perfectly honest with you. Don't know why. It's sort of stupid.

Sophie is in Wisonsin at Lifest, Leo is at Rietgrafs with Josh, and Ian is upstairs. Just so you're aware.

I watched Flushed Away with Emily and Elise tonight. I'd seen it before, so I already knew it was a bad movie. Don't see it. It's lame.




She said that I was the brightest little firefly in her jar...

Our normal computer isn't working so blogging is hard.

So! Today is the wedding! I'm excited. I think I left all my new makeup in the van though, and Dad took it to put new tires on it. I think he'll be back soon though.

My fingernails are pretty, but I still think they're sort of silly. Acrylic nails = weird.

I wish I knew how to dance *angst*

The title box isn't working on my post editor. That's dumb. How am I supposed to name this blog post if my title box doesn't work? I'll just put it at the top of the post.



Hey Amanda, where'd you find these crazy boys this time?

The party was fun. I know how to dance slightly less badly than I did before. And my intellect has been slightly numbed by watching that retarded movie. *laugh* The Stupids definitely lives up to it's name.

Tonight is practice for the worship songs in the wedding. I have two or three CDs to loan Andrew, assuming I don't forget to bring them. This morning was practice for worship on Sunday, which is at the park. That's always sort of fun. There's a potluck, too, which means we'll have yummy food afterwards.

I think the frozen pizza is done. I'm hungry.



Breathe your life into me...

Now I'll post a semi-typical blog post, since the last one was more of a heartfelt unload.

Today, being the fourth of July, there is a parade. Fireworks were last night. The boys are in the parade, as is the Ballard marching band, and we're picking up Kacy Bass (I'm supposed to call him at 8:30 to make sure he's awake) and then going and cheering and catching candy mid-air. It will be fun. I think I like parades.

Later tonight I'm pretty sure a bunch of the little posse I hang with is going to Kacy's house to have a nice fourth of July party. That will be super cool.

We're leaving now. Bye!



I will lift my eyes to the Maker of the mountains I can't climb...

I'm back! We actually got back on Sunday, but I haven't gotten around to blogging yet. So here I am.

This Saturday Jeremy and Aleah are getting married. It's really weird. I've known Jeremy since he was 16. He was one of my only friends during my first year of living here. He was the first teenage driver my mom had to interrogate before she would let him give me rides home from youth group. Haha. Youth group. My first day of going to youth group, I was there with Sarah Reece, and they were doing a study of the 40 Days of Purpose. He came up to me, spiky hair, bouncy jog, worn out black tank top and khaki cargo shorts, and randomly started talking to me. "Hey, Mara, are you homeschooled?" he asked me. I remember thinking, How the heck does this kid know my name?! I shyly answered him. "Uh, yeah..." "Really?! Me too! That's awesome!" And then he ran away. Weirdest thing ever. Freaked me out. You have no idea. *laugh* But he was the first person there to welcome me like that. I hadn't really had anyone do that ever before. I didn't know people could be nice like that.

And then there's Aleah. I adore Aleah. The first time I saw Aleah was in the community theatre audition for Robin Hood. She was short. Shorter than me, even. Maybe 4'10". Her sister was short too, and far more outgoing, but was far more like the average highschooler than Aleah seemed. Nevertheless, I paid little attention to her, because by this time I'd turned into a spastic freshman who cared little for people who I didn't already know and didn't make an immediate impression upon me. She was shy, quiet, didn't talk a lot. But I got to know here in the tiniest, most subtle ways. She played guitar. She liked Sixpence None The Richer. Kiss Me, specifically. It was her favorite song to play. I played too, so we talked about that, and talked about music. I was sort of annoying though, so it's no surprise that there wasn't a whole lot to the conversation. I wish I'd been smarter then, and had gotten to know her, if only to have seen a bigger part of the story. She started coming to youth group with Ericka Durby. She went to Expeditions Unlimited with us two years ago. I remember watching Jeremy talk to her at McDonald's on the way back home. He'd taken to her. He liked everyone, and he was nice to everyone, and he talked to everyone, but there was something about how he talked to Aleah. She was sweet and quiet. He was outgoing and inquisitive. It worked perfectly. They're perfect.

The stage is decorated, the service planned. I'm in it, sort of. I'm in the worship band that will play during the ceremony. That makes me so happy. You have absolutely no idea. I'm so excited. Just... to be a part of it, nomatter how small. They've played such a key role in my life the past few years. Both of them. Jeremy showed me how to live my faith boldly and to love others nomatter what they did. Aleah showed me how to stop and to listen to God and to be gentle and quiet. They both taught me how to love people regardless of who they are or what they've done or how annoying they come off. They are two amazing people. I am so happy for them.

That said, I'm practicing for the two worship songs on Thursday, getting a manicure on Friday (!!!), and celebrating on Saturday. There are few things left to say, except that Saturday night there will be much dancing.

Mara Tenille