2.23.2009

Everybody knows that you'd break your neck to keep your chin up...

I am so sick of being about to cry.  I am ready for everything to be fine.
 
Tonight I want to go to the basketball game.  It is the last home game of my high school career.
 
Tomorrow I have to go to DMACC, and I don't really want to.  But maybe it will be nice.  Everything will be all normal there, and I wish everything was normal now.  So maybe school will be good.
 
I decided I'm not going to New Orleans today.  I am really sad.  But I just don't have the money, and there are lots of other things that I could do with the money that I do have that will probably be just as productive.  So I am relieved and sad at the same time.
 
I am picking out a prom choker right now.  That is exciting.  And Mrs. Przybyszewski is coming on Wednesday to get started hemming it for me.  She is awesome to do that for me.  I am pretty excited.
 
Right now I am answering comprehension questions for this article on stem-cells.  It is lamewadish.
 
*sniffle*
 
Mara

2.21.2009

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown...

I will start out by getting all of my own problems out of the way.
 
I have some skin fungus disease on my nose.  It is not really a disease probably, but the bottom of my nose has all this peely, flakey skin on it.  Yep.  Weird.
 
Today I think I have the worst headache of my life.  Sinuses are exploding, and every time I make any significant movement the right side of my head explodes.  I have been lying on the couch all day.
 
State Wrestling is almost over.  Our school is the best.
 
Now, I will talk about all the things that are actually important.
 
Mikayla has bone cancer.  I still can't really comprehend that statement.  I do, and I don't at the same time.  She is at the hospital in Iowa City.  She just had surgery to get a sample of the bone marrow, the mass, and to put in a central line.  She probably starts chemo next week.
 
It feels really weird.  On one hand, I feel completely brokenhearted and strung out.  It's like I am praying in short, gasping breaths because my heart is falling to pieces.  On the other hand, I am trying so hard to be strong, especailly for Andrew.  I want to be brave.  I know that our God is so much bigger than this, and I believe that He can heal her.  I am trying not to be afraid.  But I am coming unglued.  And so I am the strong one and the weak one at the same time.  I am both fearful and trusting.  But I think it is okay.
 
And you never feel good or bad, only strange and unprepared...
 
Pray.  She can be healed.  I am believing that she can be healed.
 
Sincerely.

2.19.2009

We simply can't focus on anything...

BLAH!  WHY MUST THIS CLASS BE SO BORING!?

Ten minutes.  Ten minutes and I can leave.

It is amazing how Comp 1 seems to take three hours even though it's only an hour and a half, and ASL seems to take half an hour, even though it is three hours.  Needless to say, Comp 1 drives me insane.

Facebook instant messaging is stupid.  If it wasn't so dysfunctional I would enjoy it more.

I have to move on to a more interesting class now.  Hooray!

Mara