If you see me at midnight walking the streets, you'll know it's me, for I cannot sleep...

I pushed away the dreams and spoiled the quiet
I'm propelled by fear and not the righteous

So have you been to a place like this?
To see your breath as it paints against the sky
The fever is near, I wish you were here...
the city lights - umbrellas

Here are some song lines that are awesome from throughout my day today.

So what if now is all you have?
Live as if you never knew what it was to lose...

dark - terminal

I want to see miracles
To see the world change
Wrestled the angel for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing, Spirit, take me up in arms with you...

twenty-four - switchfoot

It's you and me, we could get out of here
Jump in and go and we could drive for years
We could feel alive...
summertime - mae

I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out...
broken - lifehouse

Hands like secrets are the hardest things to keep from you
Lines and phrases like knives, your words can cut me through
Dismantle me down
You dismantle me...

dismantle. repair. - anberlin

When I'm losing all control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down...
look after you - the fray

The only chance that I have tonight
Is if something that I ate made my dreams not right...
where's my head - copeland

And if you get caught in the fire
Just think about what made your heart cry out
For a little fire at all
cover what you can - copeland

I'll tell you flat out
It hurts so much to think of this...
when i go down - relient k

Call me a liar, call me your friend
I will let you down again
Because I'm a disaster of epic proportions
I will let you down again...
the end - the classic crime

Oh no, I'm crossing my fingers
In hopes that you will not leave me...
same problem - waking ashland

I'm alive, but tell me am I free?
I've got eyes, but tell me can I see?
The sky is falling but no one knows...
sky is falling - lifehouse

Say when, and my own two hands will carry you tonight...
say when - the fray

Consequence is our need in times like this
Feeling free is our modern disease...
young and aspiring - underoath


The only chance that I have tonight is if something that I ate made my dreams not right...

Today I am watching the Chicken Shed while Mrs. Harmsen is at a college visit with Andy.  It's kind of fun, actually.  Even though I haven't the faintest idea how to decorate with this stuff.  It's still kind of nice.  I enjoy it.  Plus, it smells really good in here all the time, which is fun.

Tonight I have a hawt date with my boyfriend.  He's the best ever in the world.  We are going to Hickory Park and then to the forest preserve to go on a walk.  I was just talking to Kim last night about how he and I go on walks all the time.  I think it's because it's free and we actually get to interact with each other, and it's just kind of fun.  I don't know.  We just like it.

Lots of customers today.  That is kind of nice.  It means there are actually things for me to do.

My boss said he would buy me an ActionScript book so that I can learn it.  That is awesome.  I am actually really excited to learn a scripting language, as nerdy as that is.  I also am asking for a book on PHP and MySQL for Christmas and my birthday.  Those are also nerdy things.  I am turning into a computer geek really, really fast.  But I like my job a lot.  It's pretty awesome.  And even though I keep saying that I am left out because I am the only employee without a Macbook Pro, I get the biggest moniter except for Steve, and that's pretty cool, and the PC I use is pretty much outfitted to do everything I could ever need it to do, which is cool.  It is a good job, and it's a lot of fun.

Sold more stuff.  W00t!  I think I am getting better about guessing the prices for all the things that aren't priced.  Which is a LOT of things, let me tell you.  It's a challenge.  I always feel the need to tell customers, "Well, I don't price any of this, and a lot of time there aren't stickers, so I'm going to say it's this much and hopefully that works out well."

The Chicken Shed is jamming to some Copeland today.

I am kind of sleepy today.  Being at Kim's until 1 AM was probably not helpful as far as being awake.  It was fun though, so it was worth it.  Plus, I would probably be sleepy anyway, because I pretty much always am.

Andrew stopped in to visit me.  He is sweet.

Well.  I guess I'm out of things to say.

Mara the Butterfly


Sometimes it's embarrassing to talk to you, to hold a conversation with the only one who sees right through this version of myself I try to hide behind...

I am going to write more songs.  I have to.  It has been far too long.

Today when I get home from work the new guitar strings are going on.  annA and Zardo are getting all fixed up just in time for what I hope to be my big musical comback.  Haha, yeah, so the musical comeback basically amounts to Mara-wants-to-record-a-couple-covers-and-re-record-some-old-songs.  But hey, I might even break out the keyboard.  Show off my mad skillz.  Actually, in case you didn't know, I am terrible at playing the keyboard.  I really should have learned how to read music back in the day when I had the time, but I didn't.  Andrew has said for years now that he would teach me, and he hasn't yet.  *hinthint*

I somehow managed to get gunk on the keys of my laptop keyboard.  I will now clean them.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ,m, m n,,mmmmm                                xszasfgyhjuiolokijklouuuuuuuuuuuuuuiiiujiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiu';lo,juyioikjukiju

That is a little bit better.

Right now I am listening to the playlist that is featured on my dear friend Emily's blog.  She likes good music, and she writes good things.  Her blog is one of my favorites.

Mom got home laaaaaate last night.  I don't know what time because I was asleep.  So, it is good that she is finally home.  I missed her.  It was nice to get to be my own person for a while, I won't lie, but it's also nice to have a mom.

Wow, I got the news done really early today.  High five for me.

I am hungry, and I have very little food.

I keep finding all these new little dings on my iPod. How to I manage that?  Good grief.  It's not like I drop it all the time or anything.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not exactly the most protective person in the world when it comes to my technology, but seriously, how do I manage to get all my expensive stuff so scratched and dinged up?

My tummy is grumbling at me and my computer has problems.

We just figured out that Matt, my coworker/partner in crime is older than Steve, our boss.  How hilarious is that?  He has him by like 5 months.  That is so funny.  I am still the young'un though.  Oh well.

Tomorrow is Friday.  I am going to Kim's house for a chick flick night.  I'm excited for that.  Then, on Saturday, I have to run the Chicken Shed and then after that I am going on a date with my lovely boyfriend.  He is taking me to Hickory Park and then we are going on a walk.  We go on a lot of walks, for some reason.  That is okay though, because walking is fun, and it's free, and we actually get to talk to each other.  Anyway, when we're done walking we might go watch a movie back at his house.

It is finally lunch time.  That is such a good thing right now.  Oh man.  I am so hungry today for some reason.



Forget love, I just want you to make sense to me tonight...

Is this too hard?
Am I asking so much?
Is this impossible for you, Love?

Sometimes I get irritated at stuff.

Today was a sort of busy day but sort of not at all.  I woke up at 10, which was AWESOME.  I can't even begin to describe how amazing it felt to sleep that late, and actually be asleep the whole time.  I normally sleep terribly, so to only wake up a couple times is really, really nice.  Much less to actually be able to stay asleep until 10.  So, I woke up, got all Iowa'd up, and then went to the Chicken Shed to hang out with Em.  We didn't really do anything.  I tinkered with my laptop, which has been outfitted with Ubuntu and all the necessary packages and programs to make it compatible with stuff.  It took me two days to find a music player that actually played music.  Is that too much to ask of a music player?  That it play music?  I don't think so, personally.  But you know, maybe I am setting my sights too high.  Anyway, after that I came home, made all these fun plans to go out with my friends, and then almost all of them bailed on me and we ended up doing nothing.  So, I grocery shopped all by myself.  I think I did pretty well, but we'll see if we run out of food by Wednesday or not.  Then I came home.  I am listening to Anchor&Braille, as you may have guessed by the title of this blog and the lyrics below it, and making my laptop awesomer, and IMing Benjamin, and a bit ago I was eating some cereal.  Cereal is so delicious.  I would die without it, I think.

Aaron Marsh + Steven Christian = Amazing.

I tweet a lot.  I hope that is not annoying.

On Friday I got my new glasses and contacts.  I have only worn my contacts once, for just a little while, but I have been wearing my new glasses since then.  They are cute, I think, but I am a little concerned about the perscription.  I still feel like I live inside a glass bubble, and it's been a whole day.  Is that normal, or should I have gotten used to the new perscription by now?  I am mostly just concerned that the eye doctor gave me lenses that are too strong.  Maybe I do just need to get used to it though.  Hmm.  I hope they didn't mess it up.

Now I am listening to Snowbirds And Townies by Futher Seems Forever.  Cheesiest, stupidest song ever.  But, I will admit, I love it.

I bought an eyeliner brush today for my new mineral makeup.  I am really excited to try it out.  I love my new foundation.  I need to order a regular sized thingy of it before the sample size that I have is all gone.  I have lots and lots of little eyeshadow samples that are a lot of fun, too.  I wore gold sparkly stuff on my eyes today to be festive for the Iowa/Iowa State game.  Which, by they way, ended wonderfully, with Iowa smashing ISU.

Tomorrow morning is church.  I need to pick something to wear.

My friend Sarah had her baby.  His name is William Marcus McDied.  I am excited for her and her husband.  They are both lovely people, and I am sure their son will be a lovely boy.

Out of my arms
And into the air
So far from your charms
That I cannot bear
Another year
In this long-forgotten beach town we once shared

I am a sleepy kid.  I think it is maybe time to watch some Superman and go to sleep.  Mmmmmm, tea.  That sounds nice, too.  Maybe I will make some.

The Butterfly Child


After all this time I never thought we'd be here...

Today is Thursday. Not quite Friday yet. Tonight I have nothing to do. That needs to change.

Mom is on a plane to Houston RIGHT NOW. I miss her.

Lifelight was really fantastic. We all had tons of fun. Manic Drive's guitarist is AWESOME. He does this constant robot dance thing while he plays guitar. Listen to that band. Their new CD rocks, and my copy was the first one ever that the band autographed. That is pretty cool. Family Force 5 was really good, too. Fatty prayed at the end of the concert, which was way cool of him. I found the guitar pick that (I assume) Chap Stique threw at the crowd on the ground while we were cleaning up trash in front of the stage after everything ended. I was a happy kid because of that. I also bought an Esterlyn T-shirt that his fingerletters on it. It's cute. We sat in the hottub every night, which was SWEET. And other things were awesome, too, but that is going to take forever to talk about, so just know that the trip was awesome.

Saturday I am going to work the Chicken Shed. I am going to listen to the radio while I do it. But not just any radio station. I am going to listen to the Iowa/Iowa State game. The game where Iowa will win.

Me and Matt Rittman work together now. We even share an office now. A much nicer office than my old office. It has a coffeemaker in it now. And we want to get a minifridge and a microwave. I think we actually have an old microwave in the basement. I should bring that. Then we can make popcorn whenever we want and we don't have to use the wacky microwave in the records room.

Me and Matt are working on the new Info2Go website. It's going to rock.

I hate when I lack inspiration for designy things. Or just in general.

We are putting another desk in here for Steve. Hahaha. This room is going to be the party room.

I think I am going to get some of my awesome superhero signs to put up in this office. The walls are ugly and need to be decorated. I am also going to look for cool posters at Wal Mart today. Sometimes they have neat movie posters there.

That is all.



We're gonna party...

I am blogging right now while I wait for Corel Paint Shop Pro to install. We are on the road to Sioux Falls for LifeLight! Steven let me borrow his magic stick that runs the internet everywhere you go, so I am able to do awesome things. I do actually have to work, which is the reason I have it. The news needs to get done once this is all installed, and then I will probably pass the laptop off to someone else so they can check their facebook or whatever. Anyway. Yep. Awesomesauce.

I am getting a cold. That is not a fun thing, but maybe it will go away before it gets worse.

I am sitting in the back seat between Peter and Sierra.

Yay! Everything is all installed now, so I have to get to work. Later.