Not so fast, come back, come back...

Alas, today's blog post is a sad one. Copeland has just announced their breakup on their website.

So, today I am mourning the loss of my favorite band. Less than a week ago I was singing along while Aaron Marsh crooned, "Sleep now, Moon, I'll watch over her while the sun is up," and "I'll smile for you now, because you're sad, but I'm not allowed to feel sad," and "I've got my life in a suitcase, I'm ready to run, run, run away." Turns out they really are running away. Turns out I am sad, and no one is smiling. And it turns out Copeland won't be watching over me anymore. Who will empathize with me when my days are riddled with angst? Who will explain exactly how I feel so that I don't have to? Whose music will flow through my green earbuds on sleepless nights while I hold tightly to my stuffed aardvark and whisper the words to my favorite songs? Whose metaphorical shoulder will I cry on when no one else is around?

Copeland, you were the brightest little firefly in my jar, and I hope to see you spark again.

Mara the sad little Butterfly Child


I've got my life in a suitcase, I'm ready to run, run, run away...

New blogger background.  It's kind of tacky and kind of cute, and it's better than nothing.  I gave up on the background I was making because for some reason I was incompetent and the size is way wacky.  So, sometime when I have a little more effort to devote I'm going to start from scratch and make something better.

CONCERT.  Okay, the concert was amazing.  I had SO much fun.  I have the best boyfriend in the entire world.  Barcelona, the opening band, turned out to be really good, and Andrew bought me their CD which is almost as good as their actual performance.  They were a lot like The Fray.  I think they have a lot of potential and I hope they put out more good music.  Copeland was awesome.  Aaron Marsh is a very interesting man, and he has a very pretty voice, and he writes very good songs.  I really enjoyed them, and I was getting pretty irritated at all the people that felt it was their duty to proclaim their displeasure all throughout the performance, and I might have smacked them if I wasn't such a nice, peacemaking person.  But anyway, in my opinion, Copeland was fantastic.  Relient K was a lot of fun.  They didn't play any pre-Two Lefts Don't Make A Right, But Three Do songs, which was a little bit disappointing because I am a big fan of a lot of their old music.  Softer to Me, For The Moments I Feel Faint, My Girlfriend, and Pressing On are all awesome songs, and I would have liked to hear modernized versions of them.  But nevertheless, the band was highly entertaining.  We enjoyed some good cover songs, such as a song from The Little Mermaid, the theme songs for The Office and People's Court (an homage to the venue in which the concert took place) and the Five Dollar Footlong song from the Subway commercials.  I laughed a lot.  The Matt Thiessen/Aaron Marsh duet of Let It All Out was lovely.  The whole concert was very good.  After the concert we went over to Centro, a tasty restaurant, for some dessert.  It was delicious, despite a little mishap that I won't talk about because I don't want you to hate that restaurant.  I had the Vanilla Bean Panna Cotta and Andrew had the Chocolate Creme Brule.  I also had a decaf latte, and Andrew had a glass of milk.  They gave us yummy bread, too.  And we drank like, eight glasses of water a piece.  The atmosphere was lovely and the food was delicious and the service was great.  The whole night was really lovely.

NANOWRIMO.  I'm going to either die of nervousness before it starts, or die of lack of sleep once it does.  I am seriously going to be writing non-stop until December 1st.  But I am so, so, so excited.  I am sure my novel will be crap, but I really just want to be able to say that I did it.  If nothing else, I've thought through my main two characters pretty well, and I hope to give them a lot of depth, even if the story ends up not being very good.  But we'll see how that goes over.  I just want to write 50,000 words.  That's my goal.  So, anyway, I have a special green composition notebook and swirly green pen that I have been scribbling in whenever I think of something.  It's an awesome pen.  I also have a NaNoWriMo station on Pandora that I am fine-tuning so that it plays the perfect genre of writing music.  Nice, mellow, jazzy, folksy, piano rock.  It's pretty boss.  I feel like maybe I am taking this too seriously, but I don't really care.  I am nervous.  I am excited.

Today for lunch we all got Hy Vee Chinese food.  It was SO GOOD.  I love Chinese.  LOVE.

Tonight I am going to my little brother's football game.  The fake little brother, not a real one.  Anyway, it is our district game I think, or something like that, so it's a pretty big deal.  We should win.  I am stoked for it.  Afterwards we'll probably go get some food and have a good time.  I think Matt is coming to the game too.  Andrew isn't coming because he has to do pep band stuff at the Ballard game tonight, so that is kind of a bummer.  But the best part of all is that it is Em's 21st birthday today!  Yay!  It's pretty weird that she's 21.  I think she was 14 when we were first friends.  Actually, we weren't friends then.  We pretty much didn't like each other at all.  But then eventually we spent most of our time together, and I spent the night at their house like, every other weekend.  And now we're almost all grown up.  Weird.  Haha.

The End.


The scene and herd seem to make it all just a little bit worse...

Today I will write lines from Relient K songs. I'm listening to every Relient K CD today, in order.

Walk through the streets of PA and you may see her
Go up to her and say you're a believer
Disgusting crap on MTV, it makes her smile
That guy from Satan's embassy put him on trial

Because Marilyn Manson ate my girlfriend
Satan consumed her mind
And he may do it again
Marilyn Manson ate my girlfriend
She once believed in the truth
Now she believes in sin

Today after work I am going to get some NaNoWriMo supplies. I've decided to try it out, because even if I can't finish I will at least have tried, and there's no harm in that. So I'm going for it. Anyway, so I'm going to get a notebook and a cool pen, and those will be only for writing NaNoWriMo related things. I am going to mainly type my novel, but if I think of something and I want to write it down, I'd better have a sweet pen and a notebook nearby, or else my whole novel might be ruined. That would be not so good.

I think we're going somewhere
We're on to something good here
Out of mind
Out of state
Trying to keep my head on straight

Andrew is getting coffee. He just texted me that. I'm jealous. The thing about Indianola is that it has absolutely nothing worthwhile in it. If you want a latte, you either go without or you go to Des Moines. Well, I guess there are McDonald's lattes now. But seriously, I refuse to lower myself to that level. Actually that isn't true because I did try their mocha once, but I didn't really like it. The espresso tasted cheap and it wasn't sweet enough for me. Ick. So no lattes for me.

It's the principle, it's the issue
That your principal would dismiss you
Because you don't fit into that All-American box
The coffin created for creative thought

Tomorrow night is the concert, and I am SO EXCITED. We are going to have a lot of fun. After the show we're going to get dessert somewhere, which will be fun. We still have to pick somewhere though, so if any Des Moines people know of any restaurants with good dessert near People's Court, definitely let us know.

All this dessert talk is making me hungry.

Well, this is how the story goes
We want everybody to know
We love Skittles and Combos
So bring some to our next show

From our head down to our toes
We love Skittles and Combos
So if you want to see our faces glow
Just bring some to our next show

Deny us Combos
Refuse us Skittles
I admit, those words hurt a little
But we know it'll be okay
If you'll just send some our way

That was a long one. But only because it's a small piece of Relient K greatness. And I am SO HUNGRY. Lunch time is happening now.

Someone please save us, us college kids
What my parents told me is what I did
They said, "Go to school and be a college kid"
But in the end I question why I did

Last night I painted my nails black. Today it is all chipping off. Sally Hansen Xtreme Wear or whatever the name is, your nail polish sucks. I can get cheaper nail polish that stays on for longer than 12 hours. So there. IN YOUR FACE.

Relient K is a good band. I'm excited that I finally get to see them live. Maybe we will even get to meet them! That's always fun.

Okay, taking a little break now from Relient K. Rockin' to some Dead Poetic, and then maybe turning on Pandora for awhile.

Some John Reuben, to switch things up:

I'll make the music if you make it look good
I don't dance, but I think that you should
Pillar is on now. I have not listened to Pillar in a very long time. That's so weird. I miss good bands like this. Sometimes I forget good music for a long time, and then suddenly I remember or it pops onto Pandora or something. That is good, that it comes back eventually. The world can't afford to have good bands slipping through the cracks. Now KJ-52 is on. I could take KJ or leave him, frankly. I'm more of a J-Reu gal. Whoa, hey, Trevor McNevan is in this song! That was a shocker. Run for Cover is the song, for the record. Hmm. Interesting. I think I approve of this song. It's definitely got some TFK tinged stuff in it, along with KJ's rappin'. Makes for an interesting mix.

Okay, I am going to stop giving you a play-by-play of what Pandora is pulling up, because I am boring myself, and I can't imagine you, the reader, are feeling too differently.

Tonight I thought I had worship team, but it turns out that I don't. So, that means I am going to bed early. I'm forcing myself. Plus, Andrew made me promise to get to sleep by 10, and I said I would. I need to get over this half-sickness, so some sleep is definitely in order. Before I sleep, however, I think I might see if Mom wants to make some chocolate mug cake and watch a movie or something. I need some chillaxin' time.

Hahaha. Steve just emailed me. Turns out the Info2Go brochures have a square black box on the back where we had thought the printing people were going to but a business card holder. Smooth move on our part. I think we just forgot to tell them to add that over the top of the box. So we have a whole slew of funny looking brochures. Funny stuff.

Back to Relient K.

Rudolf's puking balls of holly
And old Saint Nick ain't all that jolly
The sleigh's in the shop, 'cause it's broken down
But Christmas won't stop
Santa Clause is thumbing to town

I just had to make a phone call for work. Scary. I mean, it wasn't any big deal, but making phone calls isn't really my thing. It freaks me out. I'm always scared that I sound like an idiot.

Unfortunately the new blogger background is throwing a fit, so it might have to wait a while. For now, you get this nice, icky brown. I am sick of that butterfly one. I am really ADD about changing backgrounds to things. My desktop wallpaper changes every couple of weeks, at least. I'm a little weird about stuff like that sometimes.

You said, "I know that this will hurt
But if I don't break your heart, things will just get worse.
If the burden seems to much to bear,
Remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there."

Why am I so flibbin' hungry all the time? Good gravy.

Okay. End blog post.



With your eyes closed, watching a strange show play out in your head...

Click here to see my Etsy favorites. Those are all also good Christmas/birthday gift ideas. Some of them are expensive though and thus are just fun to look at.

Okay. Christmas list update! I am adding everything to the bottom of the original list and reposting it. Most of the new things are links that I've had saved for a long time, and some of them are selections from my favorite Etsy things.

Okay, I think that's all for now.

I am thinking of doing NaNoWriMo next month. I think I'm going to do it. I am going to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. That's about 175 pages. The largest novel I ever wrote was 34 pages, unfinished. I was 11. So, I guess I am going to brainstorm plots and stuff while I'm deciding. To be honest with you, and to show what a nerd I am, this how-to article is sort of what got me started thinking about it. It's got some good tips. I mean, I have always kind of secretly wanted to do it, and Hans does it and he's cool, and I think Sarah and Lara do it too, and I kind of want to be just like them. I don't know. This sounds intense. Mom said that if I do it I should only wear my cowboy boots until I finish. That's what my cousin Maren did while she was working on an art final for college.

I decided today to get some eggplant colored tights. That's all I really have to say on that point.

I WANT A SODA SO BAD. I don't think I can take it. I can drink diet soda now without gagging, so that's awesome. But seriously. I think I'm going to have to get one. I have been really good about not buying snacks and stuff lately, so I don't even have to feel that guilty about it. Plus, I could get diet. Oh yes. It's happening.

Three days until Relient K and Copeland. I am SO excited. I'm listening to Copeland now to get myself all prepared. I'm trying to make sure I know all the lyrics. Hahaha.

I've got my life in a suitcase
I'm ready to run, run, run away
I've got no time, because I'm always
Trying to run, run run away
Because every day, it feels like it's only a game
I've got my life in a suitcase, a suitcase, a suitcase

This blog is getting really long. Sorry guys. You really don't have to read it. *laugh*

Could you be happy to fall like a stone
If you'd land right here safe in my arms?
It's fine
Lock all your doors through the night
Keep it all right here safe in my arms
It's fine

I think I'll just continue to quote songs. Maybe it'll help me learn them better or something. Or, if nothing else, it's just fun.

Where I hung my coat
That's where I left my head
So you'd be wise to doubt
Every word I ever said
'Cause I just woke to eat some chocolate and go straight back
I'll go straight back to bed

Where's my head?

I am a pro at this. And also I love Copeland.

So. Andrew is job shadowing an actuary today. That's a pretty big deal. I am excited for him, but I am also pretty nervous, because it could end up having a pretty huge impact on whether he moves far, far away next year or if he only moves sort of far away. I am hoping that he loves the job so that he will just go to Drake instead of going to UPenn. Pennsylvania is a long drive.

He's in love with tragedy, in love with tragedy
She was a wreck, but he loved her
She was a wreck, but so was he
And the last time he saw Dorie he didn't know what to say
But "thank you, because you loved me
It's all on me, because I didn't want to stay"

Live, live, live
Live because you love, love love
And love will make you give, give, give
And give in when you break, break break
But you just want to fix yourself
Just to break again

There is a new blogger background coming, and I actually made it. It's coming along. It's hard to know if something looks good when you've stared at it for too long, so we'll see what happens with it.

Okay. I think that is the end of this blog. It's getting excessive.

Mara the Butterfly


But it's not so bad, you're only the best I ever had...

Pandora Radio and I have been good friends lately.  It's a very cool piece of technology.  I know I am kind of behind in the times for not having used it already, but Steve (my boss) just recently explained what it was to me, and it sounded pretty cool, so I gave it a try.  It's pretty cool to see the songs it picks and why it picks them.  For example, the song that's playing right now is called Past In Present by Fiest, and Pandora chose it because "it features electric rock instrumentation, folk influences, a subtle use of vocal harmony, mild rhythmic syncopation, and acoustic rhythm piano."  Pretty awesome, huh?

I am sick today.  I have spent most of the day on the couch.  I skipped church and slept until 11 or so, and then laid around and watched tons of The Office and watched episodes of FlashForward and House and slept some more and ate some food here and there.  Oh, and I cut my thumb open while I was slicing some apples.  It's hard to text message when you have a band-aid on your thumb.  Right now I am sipping Crystal Light.  I am going to watch more The Office and then work on my bible study so that I don't walk into the room feeling like a complete and utter failure for not having anything done, which is how it's been pretty much every week.

Okay, so get this.  I clicked on the song I've Got Ten Friends and a Crowbar That Says You Won't Do Jack" by Underoath (yeah, that one's a mouth full) and here are some of the "Features of This Song":

hard rock roots
electronica influences
punk influences
a subtle use of vocal counterpoint
a subtle use of vocal harmony
groove based composition
demanding instrumental part writing
minor key tonality
dirty electric guitar riffs
an aggressive male vocalist
electric pianos
an unintelligible vocal delivery
classic rhodes sound

These are just a few of the hundreds of attributes cataloged for this song by the Music Genome Project.

Whoa!  That's just something else.  Heh.  "Unintelligible vocal delivery."  Funny.

Random: This week I should hit 123,456 miles on my car.  I hope to take a picture with my phone.

I have a date on Friday.  Copeland, Relient K, and dessert.  The best things.



The closer I come to you, the closer I am to finding God, you're a miracle to me...

Here is the Christmas List so far, with some stuff added to the stuff I already mentioned:
I am sad because I don't think that ModCloth has the dress I love anymore.  Anyway, I will keep adding to the list as I think of more stuff.

Today I am sleepy and bored.  I don't have many days like that.  But I guess that just happens sometimes.  I am excited to go home and wear comfy clothes and relax for awhile.  First I am going to the craft store to get yarn and a crochet hook to make Andrew a new winter hat.  He asked me to make him one, and the one that he has now is all stretched out and messed up.  I am pretty excited to try crocheting a hat because I've never done that before.  It is a pretty plain hat so it shouldn't give me any trouble.  I think after this I will knit the hat I have been meaning to make for myself, and then try to crochet something more complicated.  So yep.  That's the plan.



Baby, close your eyes, don't open 'til the morning light...

Andrew informed me last week that he is planning on the two of us going to his senior prom in the spring. For some reason that caught me by surprise. I don't know why I wasn't expecting that he would want to go. I just had it in my head that he wouldn't care about prom this year and so we just wouldn't go. But I was wrong, and he is looking forward to it. Needless to say, I am now kind of excited to start looking for a dress, even though that is still really far away. I am trying to get a head start and an idea of what I want, and also it's just one more way that I can let out some of the girliness that doesn't get to see the light of day very often. Makeup, prom dresses, and Bath & Body. Those are pretty much the only things in the realm of girlishness that I get very excited about. Well, there might be more, but those are the only ones I can think of. All the other times I am pretty much game for action movies and superheroes and driving fast and Carter and Owen's slimy creatures and stuff like that.

Kim, I don't know if you read this or not, but I didn't forget that you wanted to come dress shopping with me. That will definitely happen.

Today is a food-filled day. Some days are like that. They are delicious, at least. I don't think I've eaten a ton or anything, it just feels like it. I will be back at it tomorrow, eating good stuff and working out and stuff. Speaking of which, Andrew says he can tell I'm skinner, and that makes me so insanely happy. I mean, it isn't like I have a huge weight loss goal or anything, but getting down to 115 doesn't seem unreasonable, and I'm really excited to be getting closer.

On Friday Andrew is coming over. We are going to watch Say Anything, because it is one of my favorite movies and he hasn't ever seen it. I am really excited, and I don't really even know why, because it isn't like we are doing something super special or out-of-the-ordinary. Just movie night at my house in comfy clothes with yummy snacks. That just sounds really, really nice though. So, anyway, I am super excited for that.

Something I am excited for that IS a big deal is happening next weekend. Friday, October 23rd my lovely boy is taking me to see Relient K and Copeland in Des Moines. It is going to be SO FUN. I love both of those bands. I have the best boyfriend in the whole entire world. Seriously, it's true.

Mark just murdered my ears with one of those super-insane-high-pitched ringtones on his iPhone. I have pretty good hearing, but that was painfully high and painfully loud. My ears still feel funny.

Twenty more minutes and I can leave!

I am really into a few different TV shows right now, which is pretty unusual. With the rise of Hulu and Netflix, however, it's like this whole new world has opened itself up to me. It's kind of dangerous, but pretty great sometimes too. Right now I am in the middle of Season 4 of the Office. Yeah, I'm a little behind. Honestly, I really only watch it for Jim and Pam, and I know that they just got married like, last week or something, so I am just waiting around until they hook up and then we'll see if it holds my interest. It is a hilarious show and I laugh out loud every time I watch it, so I might become a loyal follower. The other show I am into is Psych, but you already knew that most likely. Psych is the best show. I have gotten into FlashForward as well, but I am starting to wonder if they are going to end up totally going around in circles and getting more and more confusing like LOST. LOST is great, but I would kind of like to watch a show that eventually actually ENDS. So, we'll see how that turns out. I also watched the House season premier, which was pretty incredible, and I plan on continuing to watch that as well, if I have the time. I am not sure when I am planning to fit in all these TV shows, but lately Sunday afternoons and evenings have become my TV catch-up time.

I need a song line for a title. I still haven't thought of one. It's more difficult because Steve's music is playing, and I don't know any of those lyrics. Not blog-title-worthy ones at least. And I forgot my headphones so I can't listen to my music. So, I am still pondering. I will think of one soon, I'm sure. I've had enough songs running through my mind lately that it really should be easier than this.

There. That'll do it.

Mara Tenille


When I'm with you, my heart is home...

Alex Arthur's new song Breaker is fantastic.  Ben sent it to me a week or so back.  Listen.

My hair is black.  Well, almost black.  Pretty close.  Here is a bad webcam photo so you can have a sneak peek.

I am still thinking about Christmas presents.  I know there are some eyeshadows I want, and some other makeup things.  I could use some belts.  My perfume will probably be close to gone by then, and I've picked a new kind that I want.  There are probably plenty of CDs I want.  Band shirts are good, too.  Yep, there are lots of things.

Today is Ian's birthday.  I got him the Family Force 5 Christmas Pageant CD and gave it to him last night.  He apparently listened to it all morning.  He's a goofball.

I love Underoath.  Someone should get me some Underoath CDs, because I only have They're Only Chasing Safety.  That one is amazing though.  But I definitely need more.  Oh yes.

This is a short blog.  It was written all throughout my work day and it's STILL short.  Maybe I am just bored or something.  Hmm.  That could be.

Mara Tenille


Christmas time is here...

Today is a pretty okay day. I am tired, but I am still happy because for starters, I have lost 7 pounds, putting me almost halfway to my rather small weight loss goal. I am doing better at counting my calories and I've worked out semi-consistently so far. I'm also happy because Family Force 5's Christmas CD came out today. I think I will buy it one of these days for my family and I. I bet it's awesome.

I am going to start my Christmas/birthday list now. I am starting pretty late this year, actually. Here is what I have so far:

  • Girl sized band shirts. You can figure out what bands I like at www.last.fm/users/ellisbelle and looking at my top artists.
  • A nice jacket or two that are comfy and warm but not ugly.
  • Shoes. Size 7.5. Always need more shoes.
  • PHP book, so I can learn to be a nerd.
  • The Enamored Owl laptop skin for a 15.4" laptop. SOFREAKINGCOOL.
  • A Holga camera, and the film adapter that goes with it, and any accessories and whatnot.
I had lots more but I can't remember them now. I will think of them and then add them in another post.

Last night I watched Lost at the Harms and Andrew and Andy. That is always lots of fun. We ate homemade pizza and spoon fudge. It was good times. Lewis talks a ton now, which is hilarious. "Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey, hey you! Come chase me!"

My new laptop bag came yesterday. It is pretty cute. It's blue and brown. I love waiting for packages. I am waiting for all my new makeup to come in, which is fun. For some reason I usually end up expecting more than one package at a time, which then makes it kind of sad when they come and then I don't have anything to anticipate.

Time to go home! I should sit down and do a blog that might actually entertain people one of these days. That would probably be good.