You are my home, you are my everything when I feel so alone...

Man.  Life has this way of throwing these little sucky things at you that make you sort of irritated and angry, and I don't like it.  Sometimes life does stupid stuff.  I think it just likes to poke at you until you jump on it and beat it up and show it who's boss.  Or something.  I don't really know what I'm talking about. *laugh*

Tomorrow is my birthday!  I'm so excited.  I got some clothes today as a present from Mom and Dad.  Some really sweet clothes, too.  An awesome shirt that looks like a football jersey and has a sparkly 17 on it (I could say things here that would make me and Mom laugh, but I'm not going to) since I'll be seventeen, and a hoodie and some lounge pants.  The comfiest hoodie and lounge pants you ever wore.  Since hoodie isn't really a word, I'm conflicted as to whether it's spelled "hoodie" or "hoody", but I think it's -ie.  Since it's not real it probably doesn't matter.

Tomorrow we're skipping Sunday School again.  Muahahahahahaha.  Take that, holiday spirit!

Okay.  I have to go sleep.  No sleeping in until noon tomorrow.

Mara Tenille the birthday butterfly


This is the last song, so everybody sing along...

Hello!  I hope everyone's Christmases were lovely.   I had fun.  I got some amazing presents, too.  My preamp included.  It's amazing. I love it.  Definitely spiffy.  I also got some CDs (Geoff Moore and the Distance - Evolution, UnderOath - We're Only Chasing Safety, and TFK - The Flame In All Of Us) and some really cool charms for my Italian charm bracelet and some cute shirts.  Yep. Lots of other stuff, too, but I'm not going to try and remember all of it.  It would take a long time.

Today Madeline and Eli are spending the night.  Woohoo!  My cousins are the greatest.  They make me giggle.

On Christmas Eve Madeline heard Santa for the first time.  She said she'd stay up and listen to see if she could hear him, so she cleverly pretended to be asleep so he wouldn't skip her house.  She called me to let me know.

Four days until my birthday!!!

Alright.  I think I'm going to go shower now.  I like being clean.



Clap your hands, all ye children...

I finished my hat!  It's pretty awesome. I'm even wearing it right now.  It's a nice red beret with a pom-pom on it.  I like it.  And it's even the first thing I've ever finished.  Soyes.  I'm pretty excited about that.
45 more minutes and I'm done with Digital Communication forever.  That's sort of sad, but sort of not.
What song should I sing for Christmas Eve?
Today I slept in until 8:15.  It was glorious.  Tomorrow, though, I have to be at school at 8.  That will not be glorious.
Last night me and Leo went to the band concert.  It was nice.  Leo's favorite was the Jazz band.  They were pretty good.  It was fun to watch.
37 more minutes until I can go home!
Yep.  I guess that's it.
Mara Tenille


I just wanted to be sure of you...

That is not a line from a song.  It's a short sentence from an A. A. Milne quote.  Here, I'll show you:

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
"Pooh!" he whispered.
"Yes Piglet?"
"Nothing" said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. I just wanted to be sure of you."

A. A. Milne

In other news, I am clean now.  I smell like that weird cotton flavoured body wash stuff though.  I don't like that smell.  *lotion*

Sorry I've been so bad at blogging lately.  Life is busy and such.  Lately, I've been reading Emma by Jane Austen.  I like it.  Peter Pan is still my favorite Brit Lit book thus far.

If I could put guitar/drum/vocal/piano riffs as my blog title, I would probably do that just as often as I put lyrics.

Sunday night is the children's program at church.  I'm in it.  I have a nice non-speaking mime... I mean drama.  I was told that it's not a mime, even though it's silent.  It's sort of not, I guess, since we're using real props most of the time.  But still.  I want to call it a mime.

I brought the bootleg Mayday Parade CD for Andrew after I forgot a billion times, and then forgot it in my purse.  Grrrrr.

Oh!  Here's a list of CDs I want, in no particular order:

Legacy Between by Transistor Radio
Live Like We're Alive by Nevertheless
Letters to the President by Hawk Nelson
Flyleaf by... you guessed it... Flyleaf
The Weak's End by Emery
Let It Snow, Baby... Let it Reindeer by Relient K
Blueprints for the Black Market by Anberlin
Hello, Good Friend by The Rocket Summer
How to Save a Life by The Fray
Lifehouse  and Who We Are by Lifehouse
All Gas. No Brake. by Stellar Kart
They're Only Chasing Safety by Underoath

That's all I've got for the moment.  I'll probably think of more.  For now, I should go get ready to watch some basketball.



Fight all the while, fight 'til I think I'm free...

I wish I could fix everything.  If I could, I swear it would probably kill me.  There are literally things I would die to be able to fix.  Probably things that aren't even worth dying for.  I'm a fixer.  I want to just get it worked out and keep everyone happy and for no one to be hurt or be angry or mistreated or lonely.  I want to fix everyone's hearts so they never hurt the ones I love, and I want to fix the ones I love so they see how much I do, in fact, love them.  I want the world to understand the way I do right now, and I want to fix the world so that it's better at showing it than I've ever been.  I want to make everything else into everything I wish I was.  That truly sums it up.  I want the guy who said something stupid today to understand why it doesn't matter.  I want the girl that I wish liked me more to realize that I'm not stuck up, I just don't know how to talk to people, and that she intimidates me because she does.  I want the boy I never knew to come back home, because it's unfair that he had to go, and because in the world I wish this was dreams don't shatter into a million pieces, like they seem to here.  I want the girl with the disabilities to know that I would take it all on for her in a heartbeat, and that she's never alone.  I want the boy who judges everyone based just on what he sees to realize that I hear everything he says and I don't believe a word, because he doesn't know them any more than he knows me.  I want the one who never doubted me to stop doubting himself, because I believe in him.  I want my belief in him and in others to be enough, to be satisfactory.  I want the full to feed the hungry, and the hungry to love the rich, and the rich to love the lonely, and the lonely to befriend their enemies, and those that misunderstand to try to get it, and the misunderstood to realize that it's okay, because they are valued despite their state of being unknown.  I want to solve the world's problems, paint over all the flaws and plaster over the rough edges.  I want to make everything else into everything I wish I was.



I will teach you to be stronger...

Today was sort of weird.  I sort of say that a lot, but I don't really want to specify, due to the public nature of posting things online and such, so you'll have to suck it up I guess.

Yesterday I got asked (for the first time, even) what I wanted for my birthday.  At the time, I couldn't think of anything, which was sort of astonishing to me, because I always want stuff.  I really should want stuff less.  Usually, if I say I want something randomly, I don't really want it, it just looks cool at the moment.  But sometimes, when I say I want something long enough, you know I actually do want it.  Either way, I decided to come up with a list of things I actually would enjoy having, just because I can.  Seriously though, when it gets down to it, there isn't much that I want.  I'm not that materialistic, I don't think.  I try not to be, at least.

Anyway.  Birthday list:

A sewing machine
Knitting stuff is always a plus
Scrapbooking stuff
Pretty notebooks
Cool hoodies
I like hats
Any number of awesome CDs

Ummmmmm... sure, that'll cut it.  There are always other things.  Like that box with phantom power that I can plug in to my computer and record with.  That would be neat.  Or like that uber cute sweater at Target.  Or like all the absurd amounts of cute earrings and rings.  You can't go wrong with lotion, either.  I love lotions.  See?  There's always more stuff.  But it's just all stuff, you know?  Like, it doesn't really matter.  I don't care that much about getting stuff.  If I didn't get anything at all I would survive and not be scarred for life, or even until my 18th birthday.  If everyone were just happy and loved each other the way they're supposed to, it would be a better birthday than if I got every material thing I could ask for.  Seriously.  I don't say that to be cheesy, it's just the truth. *shrug*

Mayday Parade is sort of depressing and sort of lame sometimes, but sometimes, they're pretty cool.  I decided that just now as I was listening to the emo depressing breakup song on their album.  It's seriously a really sad breakup song.

It's cold down here.  Why are basements always colder than the rest of the house?  Grrrr.

Alright.  Thus ends the blog post.



I'll take care of you, have faith that when you call my name I'll be there...

I really want to bring soup and hot chocolate to all the sick people.  I am sad for them.  I don't like how everyone is sick.  I also don't like how the roads are icy.  There is ice everywhere.

So, the new Chicken Shed opened today.  I wonder how it's going.  I'm excited for them.  The shop is really cute, and I think it's going to be really nice.

Facebook applications are so dumb, but they're hilarious.

I really want to learn to play Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape on guitar.  I'm going to try.

I guess this is going to be a short blog.