Things are gonna change for the better...

Ha! I said 'gonna' and that's not ever a real word! That makes me a loser, and I don't even care.

Gosh, I'm a bad liar. *laugh* I felt ugly all day today, and didn't tell anyone, because that feels wrong and I don't really need people to tell me oh-that's-not-true-you're-so-beautiful-blah-blah-blah, because half the time they don't really think you're beautiful, they just disagree when you say you're ugly and they want you to feel better, and I didn't want to feel better based on flattery, and whatever. So, I countered my acne and lack of makeup by wearing my glasses and some lime green running shorts and a grey t-shirt. It made it worse. I tried not to care. Let me tell you something, not caring can be a freaking lot of work sometimes. That said, I will find a better way to destroy my insecurities than just ignoring them, because that clearly didn't work. Sometimes I am a very silly girl.

Hooray for string cheese and wiping mayo off of people's cars and laughing when people mispronounce words and not knowing where the peanut butter and jelly are at Aldi and buying new t-shirts and some rockin' mechanical pencils (I used to hate those) and cute bug erasers and 10 notebooks for a dollar! Today was... weird. It's weirdness made me tired and worn out.



  1. You delved into the vernacular for appropriate color. Or...You quote Stephen Christian doing the same thing, neither of which is loserish.

    *chuckle* There is something very wise in not seeking flattery, but instead seeking solutions, and flattery is not a good solution, anyway. Something to think about, however--Acne is a temporary and irregular interjection into the normal state of one's complexion, and therefore shouldn't ever be a basis for insecurity. The same for a lack of makeup--makeup is an unnatural add-on that doesn't make someone beautiful, and the lack of it doesn't make someone ugly. Of course, telling you that your insecurity was irrational probably won't make you feel better, either.

    In fact, all that springs to mind that helps on a regular basis with attacks of insecurity is the knowledge that whatever it is I'm not, that I should be, or am, that I shouldn't be, I am loved regardless, and isn't insecurity a guise for feelings of unworthiness?

    The fact that God, and people I love and admire find me worthy is comforting.

    As are hugs. You should seek one out, if you're still feelin' low.

    String cheese is lovely, although I've never experimented with mayo and cars, and consequently, couldn't say. I don't know where PB&J are at Aldi, and that's less fun when one is in a terrible hurry.

    As I apparently am.

  2. Talk about insecurities....
    I was planning to post a comment to encourage you but then I say mockingbyrd's prose and felt quite inadequate. That's some good writing and good input to boot.
    Soooo....what can I add? Hmmmmm.
    Well, you're right. Flattery is empty but give people credit to recognize that and trust certain ones anyway. It's worth it in the long run. You'll have to trust me on this one.
    Make-up is overrated in my opinion but I suppose that's obvious if you know me at all. Still, I wholeheartedly agree with Mr. Byrd on this one.
    Um, I love mechanical pencils except when I run out of lead or eraser. At least they don't make that funny scratchy noise the regular pencils do or, worse yet, that horrible squeak you can sometimes get with a good ol' number 2.
    Lastly, the peanut butter is at the end of aisle one at the Ames Aldi, but it's not Skippy my friend. Better yet, according to Luke, there is pnutbutter and jelly (grape) all in the same jar available in the same aisle as well.
    Well, I think I've shared all the quasi-intelligent things I can for tonight so I'll head to bed to dream up a few more. I'm so glad Christ loves me because I'm His and I'm glad you're part of the family too. Love you butterfly girl.
    Free in Him,
    Summer Lee