Am I angry at God? Not usually. Sometimes? Yes. Sometimes I am livid. It should have been me. It makes no sense to me that an 8-year-old little girl with a family who has followed God so closely would be allowed to go through the most terrifying ordeal I have ever been able to fathom. Sometimes I feel like God is a fool for letting that happen. I know that it is not true, but that is how it feels. I get so angry. And I know I am the fool, and I know that I don't understand what God is doing, but I want so desperately for it to all be over. I know that there is something bigger going on. But my heart is broken, and it is not going to mend for a long, long time.
New Orleans was quite nice. We worked hard and we had a lot of fun. I got to talk to Mikayla on the phone and on Skype, which was hard, and good, and provoked a meltdown that I had sworn I would avoid. But it was good. I got my mask for prom, too. It's really pretty. We got back to the church at 1:30 this morning and we were home by 2. So I am quite sleepy. There are lots of pictures, and they will all most likely be on Facebook within the week, so I will be sure to post a link to the albums.
Today I am starting my second hat knitting project. I am praying that I don't screw it up and ruin it. You can pray that too, if you want.
Does anyone have a webcam sitting around that they feel like selling to me? I am going to go look for a cheap one so I can use it to Skype Mikayla, but if someone has one they don't want, let me know.
I need a nap.