Sweet Jesus Christ, my sanity...

64 days.

Today Jessica, my roommate-to-be, and I picked an apartment and started filling out the application.  I'll get the deposit put down this weekend and hopefully we'll be able to pick our floor plan soon.  I'm excited about it.  I bought some plastic dishes and some kitchen towels and dish cloths and a rug, so the kitchen will be all decked out in a cute apple green color.  We have a couch, but we're getting a slipcover for it, and we have lots of other stuff too.  Like, a toaster oven.  And stuff like that.

I went to DTC again this week for church.  Emily Rollman, my supercute friend, came along and we had some good conversations over pie afterward.  She's really awesome.  You should all know her.

Andrew comes home from Florida tomorrow night, and Monday night we're going to go out for a little time together.  I miss him.  I don't like it when he's away.  If it were up to me, we would just share every exciting thing together.  He would be there for all of my favorite moments, and I'd be there for his.  Unfortunately that isn't how it works.  He's far away now.  He will be far away for a large portion of the summer, and for nearly all of next year.

It literally makes me feel sick, the fact that he is leaving at the end of the summer.  We have always been together.  We've always been in close proximity to each other, even if we didn't talk or interact much.  We were just there.  I've never gone more than a few weeks without seeing him.  This isn't how I want it.  Sure, it is probably best, and sure, it is probably God's plan, and sure it'll probably be good for us.  But sometimes I just think, screw what's best.  I don't give a crap.  I want him to stay.  So, as you can see, I sometimes have kind of a bad attitude about this whole Andrew-leaving-for-college thing.  I'm being a wimp, I get that.  I'm wimpy.  I want things to be easy.  I want to just be in love and to float away on that, happily ever after.  I don't have it so bad, other people have it way worse, I'll still see him plenty, it'll be good for us and we'll grow, and absence makes the heart grow fonder, blah blah blah blah blah.  I get it.  I really do.  I'm not claiming that I'm rational or that I'm unselfish or that I'm right.  Just that it sucks, hardcore.

I hate Drake University.


PS: Absence does not make the heart grow fonder.  It makes it grow sicker and tireder and angstier.  So there. [/cranky]

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