I can't lose you 'cause you're my only one

Thank you, Hans. Yeah. I suppose you're right. I'm just tired of always wanting to bail out when things get hard or when they get uncomfortable, and of always wanting to stop trying when I don't see immediate results. I wish I had the drive to actually get something done. To start something and actually finish it for once. And not finish it because I have to, but because if I don't do it I will have quit yet again. I'm tired of wanting to quit. I'm tired of feeling lazy and stupid. I'm tired of giving up on what I want just because I have to work to get there. I'm tired of having dreams and not being willing to follow them. I'm just tired. Of everything. Of me. Because I don't have the guts to get off my butt and be who I want to be regardless of what it takes.

*sigh* Gosh, this is dumb.

Mara

Lift your gaze from the pavement

I am a horrible, cowardly quitter and that's all that there really is to say right now.

Mara

Carelessness is something I recognize when you're fast asleep and I'm in the right

Ooooh, a blog post!

So. Life is going on and such. I posted a random picture of me and Ben and Andrew, just for the sake of posting a picture. I like this picture.

The O's are still here. We're having fun. Hanging out and stuff. We went to see Flushed Away this afternoon. It was kind of stupid, quite honestly. I thought it was rather weird, but I have to say it had it's funny moments. Nothing terribly amusing, but it still made me giggle a little bit. All the same, I would probably have preferred to skip the movie and babysit like I was supposed to and make some dollars. That would have made me happier.

I need to repaint my fingernails, because the paint is coming off of them and they look silly and I keep biting them which is bad. If I paint them all of that will greatly improve, which is good. We like good things more than bad ones. Makes sense to me, at least.

There will be no band practice tomorrow. Andrew and Josh aren't going to be able to make it, and there's not a lot of point in just Ben and I getting together, so we're just not going to meet this week. Maybe Saturday or something. We need to practice a couple times before the 17th, or we'll be crappy and that would be sad and not very professional or polished and then we would look bad next to all the other bands. Not that I care that much about being professional or polished. The bummer is that Andrew might not be able to play, which would suck, because it always does when the whole band isn't together.

Sophie is attempting to play Funky Town on the keyboard.

I'm going to go see if we're going to watch Bananas or not, and if we aren't I'm going to watch Step Up, because I borrowed it from Sierra and I would like to see it.

I like God. He makes me really, really, really happy.

Sincerely,
Mara