Hello, I swear I won't be too long...

Today was a weird day.  I didn't like it very much.  But that happens, and we live on.

The Almost is a good band.  Right now I'm listening to Dirty and Left Out.  Good stuff, I tell you.

Today we decided ('we' being me and Mom and Sophie) that instead of saying "I swear, _______" (real life example: "I swear these eyelashes are shorter than these ones!") we would say "I tell you the truth", because Jesus said not to swear, and because he was always saying "I tell you the truth".  Since we want to emulate Christ, this seemed like a wise path to take.

I seriously think the eyelashes on my right eye are shorter than the ones on the left.  Or maybe it's vice-verse.  It's hard to tell when the only time I ever really see my eyelashes is in a mirror, and then I get confused.

Algebra test tomorrow!  W00t!

Mara Tenille

 

PS) In case you're confused, or I appear to be confused, this was written yesterday.

You are like a poem, you can warm the coldest fear...

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
  - Paul Dirac

I read this on my Quotes of the Day.  It made me laugh.  I love poetry.

Yesterday I cut my own hair.  I trimmed the bottom, cut my bangs, and added another layer to the top.  It turned out pretty nice.  I like cutting hair a lot.  I'd like to get really good at it.  I think it'd be fun to be able to cut hair.  Hair is fun.

Today we went to church and then went to lunch at Yanni's with lots of friends from church.  It was fun.  I ate so much food though.  Delicious food.  Now I'm really full.

Alivia named her Build-A-Bear after me.  I feel so special now. *laugh*  That little girl is awesome.  She's adorable.  I've always wanted a namesake, too. *giggle*  I can't wait until I have my own little girl.  Being grown up will be fun.  I like being a teenager though.  There are pros and cons of basically everything though.

I don't know what's happening now, but Mom needs the computer.  So bye!

Mara Tenille, the butterfly

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to thee, how great thou art...

Here's a nice thoughtful Mara-felt-pondery-today post.

 

It's amazing to me how God designed us.  Everything about it is just crazy.  Extraordinarily beautiful and complex and rich and abstract and poetic.  I adore it.  I love seeing what God has created and being so overwhelmingly inspired by it.  It's an amazing feeling.  Feeling is amazing.  To feel, to know, to comprehend, to discern, to sympathize, to love, to  hate, to misunderstand, to laugh and cry and do it out of sheer emotion.  It's astounding.  Think of all the things we, as people, feel.  And think of how you can just look at a person and, depending on how well you know them or they conceal it or whatever circumstances, understand their feeling.  Obviously, no one person can know everything someone is feeling all the time, and no one person is ever going to understand someone perfectly well from the get-go, but think of the depth there.  Think of how complicated emotion can be, and how easily we can sometimes pick up on it, or shift into it, or cause it.  We are meant to feel.  Emotion gives life color.  It makes things more real, more impacting.  To love makes things so much more beautiful (to be loved even more so), to hate makes things so much more bitter (to be hated? That seems different somehow.  Hmm...).  To love and lose makes both, but differently.  Think of the differences in perspective of people who have felt one emotion so strongly and how it altered their entire being.  Think of how God uses emotion to tell us things, to show us things about ourselves and others that we would otherwise never know (or even need to know, maybe).  What would life be if we didn't feel things?  Would it even be worth it?

 

Think, too, about how we feel for each other.  A friend was having a bad day of sorts today, and it altered my own feelings.  How amazing is it that someone else's feelings matter to me, because I care for them ('care' being a combination of emotion and conscious decision to be good to someone, to act as well as to feel?  Love is a verb, yes?  And love is a feeling?), and that beyond that, I feel them too?  Because they are hurting, I hurt.  Because they are uncomfortable, I am as well, even if it has nothing to do with me and my circumstances personally, aside from knowing that person.  Beyond sympathy or empathy or even just being sensitive to others feelings.  To feel for someone.  To bear one another's burdens?  To hurt when they hurt, (even without understanding.  Is that the same?  Does that change things? How much?) and to laugh when they laugh.  How amazing is it to love (any sort of love) enough that that person's feelings become your own.  Become a part of your feelings.  A part of who you are.  How is that possible?  Aren't my feelings my own?  Why should anyone else understand or know them, much less feel them as well?  How can someone even do that?  That astounds me.

 

How can anyone believe that we have no purpose when such complexity exists in us?

 

Sincerely,

Mara Tenille

The Butterfly Child

The pictures you took that covered your room...

Here is the desktop wallpaper I made yesterday. The dandelion's awesomeness was achieved through a random series of filters and stuff that I will probably never be able to duplicate. So just know that this is a one-of-a-kind work of art and nothing will ever be like it.

Sincerely,
Mara Tenille

I'm racking my brain for a new, improved way to let you know you're more to me than what I know how to say...

Today Kacy Bass hid my lunch in the trellis that covers the florescent lights in the Chicken Shed. I had to stand on the counter to get it down, and even then I had to stand on my tip toes to get it down. By then, my <s>string</s> stick cheese was all warm and smooshy and nasty. Also, he bit into my carrots and then spit them back in the bag. That's also really nasty. So all I had for lunch was a bagel, but then I got some pretzels and a 100 Calorie pack of those Oreo chips from the back so it was better. Kacy Bass, while he is hilarious, is not on good terms with me right now. *stare* Just kidding.

I have been super good about writing lately. That makes me really excited, because maybe possibly I will be able to get some songs written. New songs are exciting. They mean I get to experiment with new things and try stuff out and mess with my fun instruments and be creative. I like that.

Tomorrow I'm going to the dinner theatre at North Polk for the musical. Bethany is the lead (she'll make a good Annie) and a couple other girls from church are in it. I'm excited. I'm going to wear my awesome new brown skirt. I got it for $5 at the Bass outlet in Williamsburg. It's tag said $40. Clearance sales rock.

I wish I was good at drawing. Speaking of drawing, here is a doodle I made. I'm working on coloring it in with the computer just for fun, so I'll post that when it's finished. For now, here's the original notebook-with-red-pen-I-was-bored-so-I-drew-some-stuff version.

Sincerely,
Mara Tenille

I love the way that we laugh until we cry and dance until we die...

I am in a thoughtful mood today.  I need to write some poetry or something.

I need to find music for Thief by Third Day.  Does anyone have it?  Otherwise I'm probably going to try and find sheet music to buy.  Or just not have piano.  That song is made for piano though.  Ugh.

Connect Four is the best.

You know what sounds fantastic right now?  Some comfy pajama pants and a glass of hot chocolate.  Mmhmm.  Good stuff.

My computer is being sort of nuts.  It's got issues.  I wish it would be normal and fixed.

The Almost is a good band.  I like them.  The beginning of the CD is better than the end, in my opinion, but I also haven't listened to the end as much, so it might just be that.  Maybe the end is really good.  I should listen to it more.

I haven't listened to Copeland in a long time.  You know what that is?  That's depressing, is what it is.

Sincerely,
Butterfly